Hey kids, it’s flu season! Felicia has been hearing horror stories about some of the illnesses that have been flying around town, including references to the “super flu” and the “death flu.” Here are Felicia’s conscientious practical tips to avoid getting sick:
1. Don’t share your chapstick (didn’t your mother warn you about this one? what, you want herpes? gheesh.)
2. Don’t wipe your nose on the palm of your hand.
3. Don’t hang out with people who wipe their noses on the palms of their hands.
4. Get your flu shot. It’s not too late.
5. Hide in your house and don’t touch anyone or anything, ever.
OK, that last one is overkill. It is also overkill to put hand sanitizer on your eyebrows (no joke, Felicia saw a waiter do this at Dinosaur BBQ yesterday). The good news: alcohol kills germs. So have yourself a hot toddy or two or three, wash your hands a lot, take your vitamin C and pray to the goddess of cocktails that you are saved from all evil infectious diseases forever more.
Overheard at the bar on Saturday: “Felicia gives good lime.”
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