What We're Drinking Now

beet graphic by Leah Houghtaling © 2012

Beets and Grapefruits

It's hard to be a locavore in the middle of winter. We could make boozy sno cones, but we haven't even had any snow to speak of this year. Global warming cometh.

This winter, our beets are from Stick and Stone Farm, which is a few miles up the road. Our spiced beet syrup is great with champagne, tequila, vodka, everything. But not with your white shirt. Watch out.

In lil' ol' Ithaca we can buy almost any produce we want from farms within ten miles of the Lounge. Except citrus fruits, but with how crazy warm this winter has been, I think we could be growing them soon. For now we'll have to get our Florida grapefruits for our fresh-squeezed grapefruit cocktails at the grocery store.

Rye

Leah's latest infusion? Caraway seeds in vodka. Smells like fresh-baked rye bread. We're still tweaking recipes, but stop by the Lounge to taste-test our latest cocktail, Carried Away. The caraway vodka is combined with fresh-squeezed grapefruit (of course), and lavender syrup. An incredible, unexpected joining of flavors.

And a non-caraway kind of rye is in the house: Bulleit Rye Bourbon. The bartenders are practically shooting it up. Even Abby made a cocktail with it - without Midori or Peach Schnapps! Our little Abby is growing up...

Catcher in the Rye

2 oz. Bulleit Rye

3/4 oz. Pimm's

1/4 oz. simple syrup

1/4 oz. lemon juice

lemon twist

Shake all ingredients with ice. Strain into a chilled martini glass. Garnish with a lemon twist.

Chartreuse

We bought a bottle of Chartreuse after a period of abstaining from weirdly colored herbal liqueurs, and the bartenders have gone ga-ga for it. Here's a drink that has been wildly popular this week:

The Gypsy

1.5 ounces gin

3/4 ounce St. Germain

1/2 ounce Chartreuse

1/2 ounce fresh lime juice

lime wheel

Shake all ingredients with ice. Strain into a chilled martini glass. Garnish with a lime wheel.

Beer

Rooster Fish Black IPA

Southern Tier Eurotrash Pilz

Wine

Jelu Malbec

Ports of New York's Meleau Semi-Dry

Reviving the Apricot Sour

This month's Mixology Monday topic, Retro Redemption, kinda has me stumped. Jacob Grier at Liquidity Preference describes the 1950's-1990's as the Dark Age of Mixology, and challenges us to revive a drink from the "lost decades."

The problem is, I wasn't drinking yet. At least not anything worth reviving. Rum and cokes, Fuzzy Navels, jello shots, Budweiser. A teenage girl's best friends, until she throws them up. Today, I can't even be in the same room as Peachtree schnapps, and the dreaded rum incident got a dedicated humor column written by me on Angstgiving exactly two years ago this week.

History makes me crazy. For the love of Dale*, I can never remember where classic drinks came from, who made them, and why. Some cocktails are best forgotten, like my ex-boyfriend.

But family heritage is my notable exception. Be it stories or objects, I saved everything my parents ever gave me, like the pair of red knee socks with white hearts my mom bought for me over twenty-five years ago. Though they’ve faded and the elastic is long-gone, causing them to bunch around my ankles and slide into my shoes, I still wear them every Valentine's Day.

When Leah and I opened the Lounge, my parents passed on to us their 1974 Mr. Boston Bartenders Guide (53rd printing). I flipped through the classics, but what caught my eye were the handwritten recipes penciled inside the back cover. Tequila sunrise. Daiquiri. In my dad’s script, Margaritas: Fill a blender halfway with tequila and the rest of the way with half triple sec and half either limeade, or pop plus Rose's lime juice. And then there was my mother’s favorite drink, recorded in her slanty handwriting: the Apricot Sour.

Reading the recipe, I could taste it in my memory, its tart flavor known intimately to me from eating the liquor-soaked maraschino cherry left at the bottom of her glass. The trick to making a good one? Use fresh-squeezed lemon juice instead of sour mix, and make sure to add that splash of orange juice. Try it; I bet you'll be pleasantly surprised.

Apricot Sour

1 ½ ounce apricot brandy
1 ounce orange juice
¾ ounce lemon juice
a few drops of maraschino cherry juice
maraschino cherry

Fill a Collins glass with ice. Add brandy and juices. Stir. Garnish with maraschino cherry.

*Dale DeGroff, a master mixologist credited for the revival of "classic cocktails."

No, you're not crazy. If this blog post seems familiar, it's because portions of this column were previously published on this blog.

Visit Liquidity Preference to see the roundup of Mixology Monday cocktails worth reviving from around the world.

Cherry Margarita

"Where's the Grand Marnier?" I asked Leah.

"What Grand Marnier?" she said.

"The Grand Marnier you brought home last week."

Mid-margarita-fixing, I shuffled the bottles in our cramped home bar, a shelf packed with liquors, shakers and glassware, squeezed in the corner above the vacuum cleaner closet. The ice waited impatiently in the glasses on the kitchen counter, as did the tequila and lime juice. I just needed some orange liqueur.

"That was two weeks ago," Leah said.

"You drank the whole thing in a week?" I said.

"Two weeks," said Leah, as if it were less criminal than one.

Maybe ten days, I thought.

Stranded and craving a margarita, I stared at the boggle of bottles and realized we only had one liqueur in the house: Finger Lakes Distilling's Cherry Liqueur.

"Try the cherry," Leah called from the other room as I pondered the bottle in my hand.

If you've ever tasted Finger Lakes Distilling's Cherry Liqueur, you know it's not like any other cherry-flavored spirit. The flavor is incredible, like crushed, fresh-picked sour cherries, with sugar added, because that's exactly how it's made. Think fresh cherry pie.

I had my doubts, though. Cherry in a margarita? Really?

Really. One sip and I was sold. I brought the recipe into the Lounge the next day and it became an immediate patron favorite, a contender for The Drink of The Year, if such an award exists.

Accidental cocktails are the best kind, an "I-never-would-have-tried-that-combination-and-I-see-Jesus'-face-in-the-ice" miracle kind of cocktail. Cherry in a margarita? Yes, please. And I won't be mad at Leah for drinking all the Grand Marnier.

Ch-ch-ch-cherry Margarita

1.5 ounces tequila

3/4 ounce sweetened lime juice (don't be lame and use Rose's or we will insult your intelligence and make fun of you publicly to such a degree that your friends will become embarrassed to be associated with someone so lame and they will abandon you forever and you'll be lonely and drown yourself in substandard margaritas. Our fresh sweetened lime juice recipe can be found here.)

3/4 ounce Finger Lakes Distilling Cherry Liqueur

Fill a rocks glass with ice and add all ingredients. Shake. Salt rim if desired.

History, Valentine socks and the Apricot Sour

“Is history important?” My preoccupation with this philosophical question started when a crazy ex-boyfriend hunted me down so we could “reconnect.” After I successfully avoided him for seven years, he cornered me in the periodical section of the public library, and yes, he actually cried. He argued in non-library tones that we should revisit our time together; our relationship the most beautiful year of his life, he said. Clearly, I thought, history is a construct, viewed through the biases of the reminiscer.

I politely declined his reconnection request. I’m not convinced that history is important, and my ex is a strong justification for never looking back. When I’m playing Trivial Pursuit, you won’t find a yellow pie wedge in my game piece. Geek though I am, history was my worst subject in school. In fifth grade, I failed my first test ever in world history. I bombed the American history AP exam in high school. I seem to be incapable of memorizing dates and historical events (though I remember in vivid detail Romeo’s naked buttocks in the 1968 film Romeo and Juliet, which we watched during tenth grade lit class).

My history angst stretches into the arena of cocktails. For the love of Dale*, I can never remember where classic drinks came from, who made them, and why. The elitist worship of old-school cocktails drives me crazy with its snobbery of “shoulds” and “shouldn’ts” that many bartenders try to impose on today’s drinks. I’m not interested in either shaking raw eggs into cocktails or glorifying the disgusting herbal liqueurs sold during Prohibition in pharmacies as “medicine.” Some cocktails are best forgotten, like my ex-boyfriend.

But family heritage is my notable exception. Be it stories or objects, I saved everything my parents ever gave me, like the pair of red knee socks with white hearts my mom bought for me twenty-five years ago. Though they’ve faded and the elastic is long-gone, causing them to bunch around my ankles and slide into my shoes, I still wear them every February 14th.

When Leah and I opened the Lounge, my parents passed on to us their 1974 Mr. Boston Bartenders Guide (53rd printing). I flipped through the classics, but what caught my eye were the handwritten recipes penciled inside the back cover. Tequila sunrise. Daiquiri. In my dad’s script, Margaritas: Fill a blender halfway with tequila and the rest of the way with half triple sec and half either limeade or pop. And then there was my mother’s favorite drink, recorded in her slanty handwriting: Apricot Sour. Reading the recipe, I could taste it in memory, its tart flavor known to me from eating the liquor-soaked maraschino cherry left at the bottom of her glass.

Apricot Sour

1 ½ ounce apricot brandy
1 ounce orange juice
¾ ounce lemon juice
a few drops of maraschino cherry juice
maraschino cherry

Fill a Collins glass with ice. Add brandy and juices. Stir. Garnish with maraschino cherry.

*Dale DeGroff, a master mixologist credited for the revival of classic cocktails.

Big Red Cocktail

In honor of the Big Red basketball team reaching the Sweet 16, Leah created the Big Red Cocktail, including antioxidant superfood to make you Ivy League smart.

We're offering nerd specials at the Lounge this weekend: bring in a Rubik's cube for $1 off any drink; solve it in under three minutes and your drink is free. Yes, I went to Cornell. A long, long time ago. Yes, I can solve a Rubik's cube, but it usually takes me a few weeks (I majored in social work).

The New York Times gave this weekend's discounts in Ithaca some press, but they didn't mention the name of our celebratory Big Red Cocktail. Sure, we could have called it the Big Red Martini, or maybe Big Red Punch, but Big Red Cocktail has such a nice ring to it, and it will likely cause a pile of unintended hits on my blog, increasing readership and impressing publishers who will then beg to get their hands on my witty memoir and pay me a sizable advance. Go Big Red!

Big Red Cocktail

1/2 ounce Lillet
1/4 ounce Cointreau
1/2 ounce cranberry juice
1/2 ounce pomegranate juice
1 ounce champagne
orange twist

Shake Lillet, Cointreau and juices with ice. Pour into martini glass and top with champagne. Garnish with an orange twist.

Gertrude Stein Cocktail

This Saturday, Felicia's is hosting its first Writers' Cafe. The theme for this curated reading, chosen by yours truly, is drink. Because I like to drink. And you like to drink, too. That's why we're friends.

Leah is working on some special cocktails for the event, including homemade chai for those writers and readers who prefer to write and read sober, strange as that sounds. I'll be spiking mine.

Because I am creative in the two-dimensional world (writing) and lame in the three-dimensional world (everything else), mixing innovative cocktails is not my forte. I leave that job to Leah who looks totally hot in 3-D.

Occasionally, though, I steal, um, borrow someone else's cocktail recipe and tweak it. The Gertrude Stein cocktail below is our take on a drink served at Cinq 01 in Toronto.

It tastes kinda like iced tea, but better. I'm going to drink one on the porch in the sunshine right now while I write something totally awesome.


Gertrude Stein Cocktail

1.5 ounces of Pimm's No. 1 Cup
3/4 ounce chamomile syrup (equal parts strong chamomile tea and sugar)
1/4 ounce fresh-squeezed lime juice
club soda
lemon-lime soda
lemon wedge

Fill a Collins glass with ice. Add Pimm's, chamomile syrup and lime juice. Top with equal parts club soda and lemon-lime soda. Garnish with a lemon wedge.

Fernet Branca: The Toronto

First, you need to know that Fernet Branca is one of the scariest liquids I’ve put in my mouth in a long, long time; second, that it is a liqueur highly regarded by the cocktail community.

I warned Leah,“Only buy one bottle,” but, ever-vigilant of quantity discounts, we've got three. Fernet Branca is an amaro, which doesn't come from the Latin word for love, but rather is Italian for “bitter and tragically disgusting yet for some reason we are compelled to drink it.”

Describing Fernet Branca as medicinal and herbal with notes of eucalyptus and mint is a serious understatement; that would be like describing gasoline fumes as earthy and peppery. Think camphor meets green Nyquil. Or, have you ever used Alkalol? Alkalol is a “natural formula” brown menthol liquid that you snort into your sinuses, which both cleanses them of pollen and burns all the flesh off of your nasal passages. Alkalol and Fernet Branca: separated at birth?

If I haven’t scared you away yet, then on to the cocktails! With much trepidation, I poured our first drink: Fernet Branca and Coca-Cola, wildly popular in Argentina.

The responses from the elite panel of judges: Dad says it tastes like Vicks VapoRub meets birch beer. Leah says, "I wouldn’t dump it out," but I notice she doesn’t drink any more of it, and later, she dumps it out. I like the bitter finish, but I simply can’t stomach the menthol edge.

Take two. I mix Fernet Branca with something bolder than Coke: Finger Lakes Distilling’s McKenzie rye whiskey. The resulting drink, the Toronto, is a classic reminiscent of an Old Fashioned, but with an invigorating smack in the nostrils and a bitter finish. The three of us agree we can almost appreciate this cocktail.

Supposedly, Fernet Branca is an acquired taste that develops only with regular drinking. Stay tuned: We’ll revisit this one in a second column and see if the Fernet Branca lands on the bar beside the Campari, or on the bathroom counter next to the neti pot.

The second - more hopeful - post in the Fernet Branca series can be found here: http://feliciaspeakeasy.blogspot.com/2010/05/fernet-branca-pipe-cleaner.html

The Toronto

2 oz Finger Lakes Distilling McKenzie rye whiskey
¼ ounce Fernet Branca
¼ ounce simple syrup
twist of orange peel

Pour all ingredients over ice. Stir for twenty seconds. Garnish with a twist of orange peel.

Mixology Monday: Anti-Vermouth

This month's Mixology Monday, hosted by Cocktailians, challenges us to post a tasty vermouth cocktail recipe. Vidiot says we can use any aromatic, fortified wine. So being the rebel she is, Leah created a cocktail, um, without vermouth.

Since Leah is in the midst of a three-week root canal with complications, she gets to be a beast and not follow the rules. You've got a "Get Out of Jail Free" card, I tell her. I don't argue with a woman who has a wild look in her eye, who is pacing the hallway like a panther, and who says it feels like someone is splitting her jaw open with a hacksaw. Vicoden is child's play, she tells me, downing a shot of whiskey and popping open a bottle of Brute. That's right, Brute with an "e."

We became acquainted with Ithaca Beer's Brute last week at a lovely beer-tasting dinner at Cornell hosted by Hotel School students and Ithaca Beer's brilliant master distiller, Jeff O'Neil. The Brute proved to be the life of the party: a citrusy sour ale the color of champagne, served in a flute, and paired with some biting cheese.

Okay, it's not even close to fortified wine, but Brute IS brewed with champagne yeast. And with a bouquet reminiscent of a barnyard, Brute certainly could be deemed "aromatic." One taste, and Leah decided Brute would make a great vermouth substitute.

The result? You can call it an Ithaca Negroni. I call it a Brutoni. Leah calls it a Bitchtooth: equal parts gin (we used Plymouth), Campari and Brute. The sour and bitter and gin blend together perfectly, and the cocktail has a tad of sparkle to it, not unlike a Sparkling Negroni that I saw on Rachel Ray's website a few minutes ago. It was an accident. I really don't hang out on Rachel Ray's site. Unless I need to find a good thirty minute meal. Leah says stop talking about Rachel Ray.

Not in Ithaca? You lose. Brute is a beer that goes beyond beer and into the realm of the extraordinary. Get yourself to the Ithaca Beer brewery to try some, or have a friend send you some. Either is a worthwhile endeavor.

Ithaca Negroni

1 ounce Plymouth gin
1 ounce Campari
1 ounce Ithaca Beer's Brute

Stir with ice. Strain into a chilled cocktail glass.

Winning Metaxa Cocktail

Felicia's Atomic Lounge won third place in the national Imbibe Magazine/Metaxa cocktail contest, with our Metaxa-coffee-fig-clove cocktail, Greek Awake. How exciting. How invigorating. How freakin' cool.

As you well know, Leah Houghtaling is the mad scientist behind our most of our crazy concoctions. How does she come up with such great recipes? Typically, the brain storm - and it is a storm - starts with the phrase, "I've got an idea!" Leah then marches feverishly around the kitchen throwing different spices, fruits or vegetables into alchohol-filled ball jars labeled with masking tape. Experiments in varying stages of development litter both the lounge and home kitchens. The photo above is one of her latest spice tinctures which is kicking back in our living room. You can see our baby basil plants and germinating arugula waiting in the background for the last frost to come and go.

Of Leah's prize-winning Metaxa cocktail, Imbibe Magazine writes, "This pretty and creative cocktail is packed with flavor, and though it's light enough to drink in warm-weather months, it's also a perfect winter/holiday cocktail."

You can read about the other winning Metaxa cocktails in Imbibe's blog. Thanks, Imbibe!

Greek Awake

1 1/2 oz. Metaxa 7-Star brandy
1 1/2 oz. coffee-fig elixir (recipe below)

Ice cubes

Tools: shaker, strainer

Glass: cocktail
Garnish: grape

Shake Metaxa and coffee-fig elixir (below) in an ice-filled shaker. Strain into chilled glass. Slit grape and place on rim for garnish.

Coffee-fig elixir

1 cup high-quality fresh-roasted, hot-brewed coffee (Houghtaling uses Gimme! Ethiopian)
1 cup dried whole mission figs with stems removed
1/2 teaspoon cloves
3 tablespoons brown sugar
1 cup water

Simmer figs, fresh-brewed coffee and cloves over medium heat for 15 minutes, stirring frequently. Mash figs with back of spoon after simmering. Add brown sugar and water. Heat and stir until sugar is dissolved. Remove pan from heat. Allow to cool then strain crushed figs out with a sieve and store.

Road Trip! The Berkshires

I uploaded this photo of Thanksgiving dinner and realized that you don't need teeth to eat most of the items on the plate. Mashed pototoes, mashed turnips, mashed sweet potatoes, cranberry jelly, gravy, stuffing, pumpkin pie. You probably need to chew the turkey, but I'll bet you could get away with barely chewing the cole slaw (who eats cole slaw at Thanksgiving? Now really). Just need a nice bottle of wine (or two) to wash it down. It was a senior citizen's dream meal.

Leah and I trekked to the Berkshires, Massachusetts for our mashed feast this year. We arrived the night before so we could have a little alone time and see what's happening in the culinary scene in the area. We ended up in Great Barrington, one of the hipper towns in this uptight community of NYC whitehead second homes. There we found Allium, a locavore's dream. They didn't have much of a cocktail list to speak of so we partook of Campari and Soda (Allium, call Felicia. We can help you get that fresh local produce into some creative farm-to-glass cocktails).

Leah ordered a lovely farm salad and cod fritters and she liked them both. I started with apple-celery root soup. The soup ended up having cream in it, which means I shouldn't have eaten it, but being a pig and since it tasted soooo good, I sucked in every last drop. This bloated me into a false sense of fullness, so the half order of excellent spaghetti bolognese that followed was plenty. The bolognese had local carrots, kale and fennel as well as neighborhood pork and lamb. Sigh. I hate eating lamb. They are just so cute and fuzzy and innocent looking. And delicious. Two thumbs up for Allium.

Every time we go to the Berkshires, we say at one of those big hotel chains. Every time, they upgrade us to a kick-ass suite for no apparent reason. Every time, we sneak the dog in. (Every time, I leave a big tip for the housekeeper. They must know the dog is with us. How could they not know?) Every time, we have brunch at Martin's in Great Barrington, where you will find the best brunch in the Berkshires. Flavored coffee (pumpkin spice this week), great eggs florentine, and my new favorite, eggs scrambled with grits, cheddar cheese and spinach. Yes, more cheese.

Add in the butter and cream in the Thanksgiving mash, and I am now a big walking itch. Might as well splurge and put some whipped cream on my irish coffee this morning.

Espresso Martini

Ok, this one probably falls into the category of why-would-you-drink-that-preflavored-stuff-when-you-can-make-it-fresh. But it tastes soooo good, and unless you happen to have an espresso machine in your home kitchen or you live next door to Gimme! Coffee, you most likely will not have access to a freshly pulled shot of piping hot espresso. For recipes using fresh espresso, check out Michael Turback’s latest book, Coffee Drinks. There is even a fancy-shmancy real deal recipe by Felicia in it.

Espresso Martini

1 ounce Van Gogh Espresso vodka
1 ounce Baileys Irish cream
1 ounce Starbucks liqueur (Gimme doesn't make liqueur yet)

Shake all ingredients with ice. Strain into a chilled martini glass. Stay up all night.

The Real Deal Espresso Martini

Last year, Leah was approached by Michael Turback and asked to design an espresso cocktail for his upcoming book. The book, Coffee Drinks, is now published and available at Ten Speed Press. With the assistance of Gimme! Coffee barista/Felicia's Atomic Lounge bartender Colleen Anunu, Leah experimented with orange peels, vanilla beans, Grand Marnier, cinnamon sticks and various types of espresso. After sipping the cocktail she made with Gimme! Mocha Java, muddled lemon balm (from Felicia's garden, of course), an orange wheel, vodka and lavender whipped cream, Leah exclaimed, "Now this is the real deal." Hence the drink was dubbed The Real Deal Espresso Martini. The recipe for Leah's cocktail is side-by-side in Coffee Drinks with recipes by other talented coffee-loving mixololgists including Paul Clarke (The Cocktail Chronicles) and Jeffrey Morganthaler . Want to taste it? For now you will have to buy the book.

Mixology Monday: Pimm's Cup

Last week, all the mixology gurus in our fine booze-loving nation were in New Orleans attending Tales of the Cocktail, a culinary and cocktail festival that involves drinking, presentations, drinking, history lessons, drinking, mixology classes, drinking, eating and drinking. For all of Felicia’s cocktail-blogging pals, it also involved writing.

Felicia’s blogging budget ($0.00) did not permit her to attend the festivities this year. She vicariously experienced the event through all the other mixology bloggers. Thanks to them, it almost felt like Felicia was there in New Orleans, especially since it’s been 95 degrees and muggy here in the Ithaca area. Felicia even ate some alligator meat on Friday at Trumansburg’s Grassroots Festival of Music and Dance.

A dozen or so myths exist as to exactly where the idea of the cocktail was born in the early 1800’s. One such story is about some dame in New York who garnished beverages with a feather from the tail of a cock. Get it? Cock. Tail. Another etymology is that the term cocktail is derived from coquetier, the French name for an egg-cup thing that was used around the same time to serve alcoholic beverages in New Orleans. This history and the large amount of imbibing that goes on there make New Orleans an important place in the cocktail world. For the record, in case you did not guess: Felicia’s worst subject in high school was history (Felicia prefers to says that she specializes in living in the moment).

You will not find most New Orleans-style drinks at Felicia’s unless it happens to be Mardi Gras, with the exception of this one: the Pimm’s Cup. Fellow bloggers at Married…with Dinner recently posted a fresh, classy recipe for this beverage that involves such antics as squeezing fresh lemons and using French soda. Luette, a former bartender at the Hustler Club on Bourbon Street, told Felicia yesterday that she makes a Pimm’s Cup with Pimm’s and ginger ale with a cuke garnish. She added, with great New Orleans bartender wisdom, “I think Pimm’s is kind of gross.” One of Felicia’s own bartenders, who likes Pimm’s, describes Pimm’s as tasting “sort of like flat coca-cola syrup mixed with bitter iced tea.” The back of the Pimm’s bottle reads more mysteriously, “a light, refreshing spirit carefully blended from fine liqueurs and fruit extracts.”

Try it, and form your own opinion.

Now who can Felicia speak to so in order to get a line item for blogging added to the lounge budget?? If you are lucky, maybe Felicia will see all of you in New Orleans next year.

Pimm’s Cup
1 ½ ounce Pimm’s
gingerale
cucumber slice

Fill a double rocks glass with ice. Add Pimm's. Top with ginger ale. Garnish with cucumber slice. Toss in a slice of lemon if you are feeling frisky, as Felicia's drink photographer clearly was.

Mixology Monday: Fruit Liqueurs

Another Mixology Monday has snuck up on Felicia. Bam! This month’s topic is fruit liqueur and the roundup is hosted at Morsels and Musings. Leave it to Felicia to come up with a fruity-creamy-dessert martini. (Must… have… dessert….) To Mr. Anonymous Comment Leaver, perhaps this cocktail will be just another “sickly sweet” drink. The moral of the story for Mr. Anonymous and all you doubters out there is: Don’t knock it til you drunk it!

But Felicia digresses. For those of us who like sweet creamy cocktails, the Banana Split Martini is simply scrumptious. It has a universal appeal to dessert-lovers and especially to girly girls who like frou-frou drinks. In a nutshell, the Banana Split Martini tastes remarkably like the vanillaicecream-hotfudge-strawberrysauce-bananagoo melt left at the bottom of your banana split when you have finished eating it.

Try it. Or make your friends try it if you are scared. And then let Felicia know what you think. Don’t be afraid to sign your name. Felicia is quite lady-like, and she swears she does not bite (except upon request).

Banana Split Martini

1 ounce Stoli Vanil vodka
¼ ounce strawberry liqueur
½ ounce banana liqueur
generous squirt of chocolate sauce
splash of cream

Shake all ingredients vigorously with ice. Strain into chilled martini glass. Garnish with whipped cream, chocolate sauce and a cherry.

Grand Coffee

It is a well-known fact that consuming alcohol can make you feel relaxed and at times sleepy. If you are at a high-energy cocktail party, the excitement of dancing or standing around talking and laughing with friends can keep you stimulated and alert despite any alcohol in your system. But sit at a table with your mellow acquaintances after a huge meal and a heavy dessert, with boring classical music playing on the stereo, and you are likely going to feel ready for a big fat nap. To maintain energy when drinking alcohol, some people will mix their liquor of choice with a caffeinated beverage. Common combinations are rum with Coke or vodka with Red Bull.

Uggh. Red bull. Not to mention Felicia's rum-and-coke-experience when she was 14 years old. Felicia would like to encourage you to try something a little more classy. The next time you are looking for an after-dinner drink and you fear a nip of bourbon will bring on the zzzzz’s, try turning your coffee into a cocktail. Popular coffee additions include Baileys, Kahlua, Jameson and chocolate liqueur. Felicia’s favorite booze to add to coffee is Grand Marnier, an orange liqueur. A little G. M. and a twist of orange peel will make your coffee taste like a heavenly treat, give you a balanced dose of pep and relaxation and keep that dinner party lively.

Grand Coffee

6 ounces coffee
1 ounce Grand Marnier
cream and sugar (optional)
orange twist

Pour 1 ounce of Grand Marnier in coffee mug. Add coffee, plus cream and sugar to taste. Garnish with orange twist, or homemade candied orange peel if you happen to have some in your pantry like Felicia.

Drink wisely, Grasshopper...

The Grasshopper (in Kung Fu movies) refers to an inexperienced person who has much to learn. The Grasshopper (the bug) represents wisdom, nobility and taking leaps of faith without knowing where you will land. The Grasshopper (the cocktail) derives its name from its bright green color similar to that of the bug. Put all these definitions together and you have a smart green chocolate-mint concoction that makes a satisfying after-dinner drink and opens your mind to learning from whatever experiences the world throws at you.

Helpful Hint: Add a squirt of chocolate syrup and use dark crème de cacao with clear crème de menthe, and you can call this cocktail a Dirty Girl Scout or a Peppermint Patty.

Another Helpful Hint: When called a Dirty Girl Scout, this drink makes a popular shot for 20-somethings.

Still another Helpful Hint: If you do not like mint chocolate chip ice cream, this beverage is definitely not for you.

In the paraphrased words of Master Po, go now, Grasshopper, and guard above all things the purity of your cocktail.

Grasshopper

¾ once white (clear) crème de cacao
¾ ounce of green crème de menthe
splash of cream or soy milk

Shake all ingredients with ice. Strain into chilled martini glass.

Black Heart Guinness

Dear Felicia,

What should we do, Felicia? We want to be burly. We want to be gruff. We want to be manly. But we secretly love foo-foo drinks. How can we maintain our masculine images with pink drinks in our calloused hands?

Signed,
Misunderstood Burly Men

Dear Misunderstood B.M.,

Felicia feels your pain. The pressures on men today are enormous. If you do not drink cheap beer, you risk being judged harshly by your peers. Fear not, oh-rough-and-tumble-yet-secretly-sensitive men. Felicia has a solution for you. The Black Heart Guinness puts hair on your chest, looks good in a dirty hand, and fools everyone who would not suspect the added chocolate liqueur and cherry juice. Your vulnerability will be our little secret.

Black Heart Guinness

10 ounces Guinness
1 ounce crème de cacao
¼ ounce maraschino cherry juice
maraschino cherry

Pour crème de cacao and cherry juice into pilsner glass. Top with Guinness. Add cherry as garnish, unless you are trying to maintain rugged image. Special thanks to Felicia Sharon for creating this man-meets-kitten cocktail.

Love Potion

How do you feel about Valentine’s Day? Are you a sappy romantic who plans to wine-and-dine your sweetie at an expensive restaurant, buy a dozen red roses and support the multi-million dollar Hallmark Corporation? Or do you buckle under the pressure of it all and at the last minute end up with the $3.99 florist special from the convenience store and a heart-shaped sampler box of gritty Whitman’s chocolate that will end up half-eaten, with just a teeny bite taken out of each piece to find the caramel but avoid the fake crisco-like maple or strawberry cream fillings? Perhaps you absolutely despise Valentine’s Day, because the only card you ever get is from your mother and it is the same one she sent you last year. If one more friend asks you about your V-Day plans, are you convinced you will explode all over them?

Fret no longer and drink this magical elixir. There is nothing like a little love potion to keep your heart company and get you through Valentine’s Day.

Love Potion

¾ ounce Amaretto Disaronno
¾ ounce light rum
5 strawberries
¾ ounce cream or milk

Fill hurricane glass or other fancy-shaped glass with ice. Add all ingredients except one strawberry. Pour entire contents into blender and blend until smooth. Return Love Potion to glass and garnish with remaining strawberry. Be Felicia’s Valentine and drink the Love.

The Red Planet

Many people who are curious about Campari take their first sip from a friend’s drink, and follow it with displeased facial contortions and the incredulous remark, “How can anyone drink that stuff?” Any seasoned mixologist will respond that Campari is an acquired taste, a true roller coaster ride for your palate.

What exactly is Campari? It is a bitter Italian aperitif created in 1860 by, no surprise, Mr. Campari. It is comprised of a mysterious mixture of herbs steeped in alcoholic spirits. Some known ingredients include quinine, rhubarb, pomegranate, ginseng, bergamot oil, orange peel, cascarilla bark, and a red dye made from – eek – bugs. It sounds a little scary, yet this classic beverage has been adopted in American culture as a sexy drink.

There are lots of ways to drink Campari, Campari and soda being the most common. The ever-sexy James Bond has embraced both Negronis (Campari, gin, sweet vermouth) and Americanos (Campari, sweet vermouth, soda). In Japan, Campari is served with pineapple juice and grenadine. Campari has even been used as an ingredient in sorbet.

Felicia has concocted a slightly sweet Campari cocktail that teases you with a variety of subtle flavors. From the aroma to the first sip to the surprising finish, this cocktail will delight you with its complexity and leave you feeling sexy.

Red Planet

1 ounce Campari
¾ ounce Grand Marnier
1 ounce fresh squeezed grapefruit juice
club soda
orange wheel

Fill a rocks glass with ice. Add Campari, Grand Marnier and grapefruit juice. Top with soda. Garnish with orange wheel.

Raspberry Truffle Martini

It has been another one of those days: the car would not start, the cat pooped on the rug, the hot water heater stopped kicked the bucket, your favorite TV show failed to record and it is snowing again. You are faced with a tortuous decision: do you need chocolate or do you need a martini? Hmmm…chocolate or martini…martini or chocolate….Felicia says, why not have both? A little vodka to calm the nerves, some chocolate to invoke feelings of happiness and coffee liqueur to add a caffeine-induced sense of indestructibility. A hint of raspberry gives you a sense of indulgence, reminding you that you deserve this special treat. Obviously neither your car nor that cat poop are going anywhere, so put on your fuzzy slippers, prop your feet up and relax for a bit as you savor this scrumptious cocktail.

Raspberry Truffle Martini

¾ ounce vodka
¾ ounce coffee liqueur such as Starbucks or Kahlua
½ ounce Chambord
splash of half-and-half
chocolate syrup
whipped cream

Shake all ingredients with ice, including one hearty squirt of chocolate syrup. Strain into a chilled martini glass that you have decorated with chocolate syrup. Garnish with whipped cream and a fancy drizzle of chocolate sauce.