Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Frequently Asked Questions

People assume that bartenders know things. Facts. Stuff about life. Secrets. Today, I’ll share some answers* to a few questions frequently asked in bars:

Are you open?
Was the door unlocked?

Does bourbon have to be distilled in Kentucky to be called bourbon?

Shake or stir?
Oooo, good one. When you shake a drink, the ice melts more than if you stir it, watering down the cocktail as it melts. A good rule of thumb is if a cocktail is pure liquor, stir it, and if it contains mixers, shake it (unless the mixers are carbonated).

Some people say shaking "bruises" gin.
What does "bruising" mean?
It means it hurts if you press on it, or if a friend who thinks he/she is being funny presses on it.

I have a really bad cold/flu/stomach bug. What cocktail do you recommend?
I used to say “water,” but that answer surprisingly does not go over well with thirsty bar patrons who want to imbibe. Besides, alcohol kills germs, right? Personally, I recommend a hot toddy with some fresh grated ginger added. My mum suggests you could try nip of apricot brandy or blackberry liqueur.

Why do I attract so many crazy people?
Um…why do you think?

I’m wondering about that “beer before liquor” rhyme. How does that go and is it true?
Usually, the people who ask this question introduce it with “I just drank two bottles of wine and a twelve-pack of beer. Is it safe to add couple of vodka gimlets into the mix?” To my knowledge, a couple versions of the rhyme exist. My favorite, and the one I stand by, is the version that goes like this: “If you drink too much of anything, you’re probably going to throw up at some point.”

Do I drink too much?

Where’s the bathroom?
Back of the bar and to the right.

Are you sure I don’t drink too much?

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop™?
One…two…three....Three licks.

How do you know so much?
*I make it up. When I’m drinking.

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brandouglas said...

I love reading your blog while I'm at your bar....
yeah and I'm always stired never shaken..

Milly said...

Felicia is very wise on these topics and so many more. Thanks for reminding me.