Tuesday, January 22, 2008

The Rumors Are True

Yes, OK, the gossip is true. Felicia is writing a book. At least, she would be writing a book if she were not avoiding it. Who has time to write when there are martinis that need to be drinken/drank/drunk? Many of you have asked what, pray tell, will be in this mysterious Felicia book. First and most obvious, the book will contain cocktail recipes. No, Felicia is not worried about someone stealing her secrets and making the cocktails at home. Fact is, Felicia knows you are too lazy to do that. You would much rather go out and indulge in the entire lounge experience. Who wouldn't? The book will also contain your favorite Felicia stories, including "The Mystery of the Poison Ivy", "Felicia's Ethics Quiz" and "Conversations with Satan." When will the book be finished? Oy, the pressure! Felicia can't take it. She needs another drink. Good things take time and patience is a virtue and blah blah blah. Felicia met with her fearless crew of book advisors earlier this month who enjoyed some cocktails while they ripped apart Felicia's work to date. Such are the welcome tortures of a soon-to-be best selling author. Perfection hurts, like high heels and face lifts. No, Felicia does not have a publisher yet. She is whoring herself out in case there are any interested publishing Johns reading this. Felicia love you long time. Now if Felicia could get her booty off the internet, she might just write a little something today.

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