Credit Card Fiasco Ends in Staff Spending Spree
by Amelia Sauter, Feliciated Press
ITHACA -- Plumbing specialist Ken Sanderson responded to a distress call at 508 West State Street in Ithaca last Thursday, January 29 at 7:51pm. Upon arriving, he found Felicia’s Atomic Lounge owner Leah Houghtaling plunging the women’s toilet without success. “Something unnaturally huge must be in there,” she reported to the official. “Or maybe a cell phone.” Sanderson, principal of Sanderson Heating & Plumbing & Refrigeration & LaRouche Fan Club & Youngevity Vitamin Supplements, attempted to snake the drain. Under pressure, the two finally removed the toilet from the floor which caused Sanderson to exclaim, “Now there’s your problem!” Houghtaling reached into the pipe and pulled out a dripping credit card upon which was imprinted the name “Amy Gonzales.” The crisis was averted and no arrests were made. Staff recovered from the incident by embarking on a spending spree with Amy’s card which only ended when the card was maxed out. “I really love my new ’57 Stratocaster,” supervisor Earl “Guy” Lorshbaugh IV stated. The credit card was thoroughly disinfected by a hazmat team before shopping. Amy Gonzales could not be reached for comment.
2 comments:
Wow. This just in. I'm...er...I've spoken to Amy Gonzales. And she is **really** sorry that she left her credit card in your toilet. She told me that she knew it was a bad idea to leave it there for safekeeping while she reapplied her lipstick, but clearly she has something to learn about mixing modern plumbing and Manhattans.
Friday morning... 9am-ish, completely sober yet apparently clumsily semi-alert Veronika Freeman attempts to remove upper retainer while toilet is still flushing... she shoots, it hits the rim and bounces in for three points!
I did not hire the services of a plumber as it would have cost more than the cost of the retainer... so I thought, until I learned that price of the retainer went from $95 in 2008 to $125!!! Ouch - close that lid every time!!!
Must be the time of year for flushing objects that should never come in contact with a toilet...
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