Bar Incident: The Chipotle "Accident"

An Open Letter to the Guy Who Steals Drinks:

We have seen you chug other people's cocktails - even strangers' drinks - when they are not looking. Last week, did you think that full-to-the-brim martini was sitting abandoned on the bar by accident? Tempting you to sneak the whole thing? Inviting you to slug it down? We made it just for you, with our chipotle-infused tequila. The look on your face as your mouth burst into flames was simply classic. We notice that you aren't stealing drinks anymore...

Fondly,
Felicia